Tuesday 23 December 2014

Pieces I Gave Away


Sometimes on sporadic  nights, I wake up with the your words resonating in my head. I think of those cards I would make, smiling just at the thought at the look on your face when you would recieved it. How I collected each part from a plethora of strange faces and places, and glued it all together into one card, placing it tenderly inside the thick package.  How I used to keep making last minute additions and rearrangements inside the multitudes of envelopes and gift wraps that held all the tiny somethings that my Pocket money could buy, for you. All while the Courier Guy waited outside, because ofcourse I was never satisfied that it was perfect and pretty enough. 
Ah young naive love :)
I woke up today with wonder, whether you realized that those tiny somethings were not just pieces of things to remember me by, they were pieces of me. 
And what they meant, was that you'll always have a piece of me no matter what happens. Each piece of the handmade book, the scribbled post-its, the eldorado-names and the etchings on the balloons were another piece of myself that I gave to you.

It's too bad I didn't keep any pieces for myself.




Saturday 20 December 2014

RED.




There are a million ways to die
You are why I live to savor it
There are a billion ways to bleed
But you are by far my favorite


Saturday 29 November 2014

Territorial Spidey Attack.

I used to pretend that I wasn't afraid of spiders.  It made me feel cool - like I was braver than most people.  If someone called me on my bluff and asked me to dispose of a spider, I would put on my battle-face and do my best to get rid of it without letting the panic bubble to the surface.
Having said that, Now, in the one month that I have been in this place, I don't pretend anymore.

The dark corners of the rear side of my cupboard is home to two fuzzy spiders. While I haven't been able to quite determine their relationship status, I highly suspect them to be an old couple. Its because they hardly never go out together.


You have to understand that after moving in from a house partially owned by rats, (both literally and figuratively). while moving in here, seeing two of these furry things sitting pretty on my chair seemed like a no-biggie. Hence after being high fived by a rat (True story), I did not think much of this and let them be. Do their spidey-thing in peace.






Lately, however, they seem to think that their ownership of my cupboard's rear end somehow extends to my entire bedroom. They invade my territory, my cupboard. my kitchen cupboard. my Coffee mug. MY COFFEE MUG! But the last straw was when I slid opened my top drawer only to have one of them fall  on my face and crawl across my skin.

ON MY FACE.
Across my skin!

Not only did I almost jump out of my skin while my hands and legs went against gravity at weird positions, I also literally thought I was about to die. The slo-mo death that ends in fuzz gore. It was the single most icky and creepy feeling I have ever got. EVER.

Needless to say, I called it quits and in my delirious mad anger, stomped across the kitchen to the cupboard and pushed it against the wall, closing the gap to thier abode.

Forever.

And since then they have scuttled across onto my carpet. Watching me. While I watch them, occasionally. I am beginning to suspect that in order to spite me, they have procreated....like exponentially and the thought of a million eggs sitting god knows where all across my room waiting to hatch and recruit others for a massive spider-attack against thier home-wrecker isn't a far-fetched notion. Anyway, I did finally manage to scoop them onto a chart paper and leave them out on the terrace. For new beginnings .

I am pretty sure their loss of home will be avenged in some fashion by its clone army, but for now it is gone. 

Sunday 9 November 2014

This Too Shall Pass

Do you remember this and the pages that followed. I left clues everywhere.
Din’t you see them. I was hoping so much that you would.
So much.






Because sometimes the night is dark and stormy. Sometimes the ghosts of what you had run their fingers down a spine. And as that happens, you will want to turn to the last page. 
Please Don't. You'll ruin the story.

Wednesday 29 October 2014

Wanderlust



She dreams of blue skies with wisps of grey
of dimming sunsets and cobbled streets
Conjures a view of a nondescript bay
Brimming with pretty lights and Happy feet 

Surrounded by the ocean, Shaded by the moon
where she may pass by fireflies in platitudes
Live the artful life in a perpetual slow motion
measured by only longitude and latitudes

Link by link she will build a chain of trust
asking,"will you step outside your walls with me?
And hand in hand, yield to wanderlust
to create our own serendipity?

"
College Trip, Rohtang Pass, 2010


Sunday 26 October 2014

I Am Calling You Back


Tonight I need you around me.
Lend me a pinch of your insensitivity.
You see, with you gone, I am wary of this new found lingering balance.
I insist you tip it over. Push it down with your nonchalance.
This happiness. is SO unsettling, So is everyone's loving embrace
I need you to disregard my feelings right about NOW.
Come.  Put me in my place.

I need a reality check, For I am hanging by the thread
Of passionately believing again like every time you said
"When you are into something, you don't walk, you dive"
I am asking you to go ahead, Tell me I am being naive.

Yes You, I am calling YOU back.
I need you to stop my stride as I swim another mile.
This life is getting too good to be true. I'm considering living in denial.
My days - Increasingly getting the better of being jaded. Familiar.
Until I find myself being overtly serenaded. Peculiar.


Return to remind me how people get stressful.
Top it off with a dose of cynicism- Your instrument of the "successful"
Surely this positivity around me has gotta be a ruse
This increasingly seems like a dream, for I am nobody's muse
Tonight I need you to reinstate the mirage of a "soulmate"
And that when autumn arrives , I will fall - like an autumn leaf’s fate

So come along again.
Hurry. Break my flight
Its addictive.
Disconcerting.
Such Brightness.
This height.

Frown again.
Bring me down again
My ears are ringing with applause
Swish your sword . Stop this sound again.

Come
Ravage
destruct
Be the Savage

The fall is now my utopia
and will be my once upon a time
the Scars might be the cure
My pulse rises with every crime.

Take away this perfection.
You know you do it the best
You know I know you want to
Come Raise me the Tempest.






Picture Credits : OnceUpon

Tuesday 21 October 2014

Someday

Living in Noida : Blurry  yet atleast in colour now
We all have that one thing that would deliver us from every other thing. That one person whose mere presence would help us combat every thing life throws at us.. That one dream that would beat every other dream and reality too if it came into life someday.
Someday.
Over the years, I have deliberately/offhandedly, attributed many things to "Someday". Some out loud an,others in whispers to myself. Few of which have seen the light of the day, while others remain gently tucked away in the recesses of my heart, waiting, biding time... and patience.

One of my "Someday" came to life today :)
I wont go into the details.Not just yet.
Not even in contemplative conversations with myself.
Shh.


Reminder to Self : Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.


Sunday 31 August 2014

Can't Stay the Night




Watching
Waking
Wading
Waist deep in awkward replies
Sunsets
Airplanes
Cold wind hangs on all the goodbyes
Aching
Breaking
Fading like a burnout star
Always
I've been
Somewhere way too far
And I can't stay another night
And I need not be wrong to be right


Crying
Sighing
Staring with nose pressed to the glass
Waiting
Debating
Unanswered questions, thought but never asked
Wearing
Tearing
Like the book.. lost to a rainstorm
Braving
Craving
to go back to the place I belong

And I cant Stay the night
I waited for you to hop in all this while
So know that I have to leave
I am a bird that crashed to the tree
And I know I'm sad and crazy
Maybe an aftershock of finally being free

Rewind
Replay
Feeding off memories of days gone by
Shutdown
Start-up
Warning bells for re-starting my life
Voices
Choices
Noises rumbling in my head
Atoning
Postponing
And holding my breath

And I cant Stay the night
So I am off on solitary ride
Somewhere miles and miles away
Seeking brighter blue skies and clouds less grey
Although this may sound like a cliche
Its ironical that I came here for you, only to find you walk away.







Sunday 17 August 2014

कच्ची


Roothi hui hai tu
Ek pal mein maanegi
Dil se hamesha hai... Tu bacchi
Are zindagi tu bhi
Mere hi jaisi hai
Dikhti hai sayaani.. Par hai kacchi

Is bade sheher ki bheed mein
Mujhe log begaane se lagte hai
Teri choti khoti baaton se door
Yaha log zyada hi sayaane se lagte hain

Mere intezaar mein na baith tu yoon
Ungli meri chal thaam le
Har baar mere sang chali hai tu
Aaj apni Didi ko pakar, duur le chal mujhe

Yahake bade bade kothiyon se zyada
Teri choti-si gali acchi lagti hain
Yaha begaani si khushi, jaha pal bhar ka vaada
Mujhe Teri ek hasi hi sabse sacchi lagti hai

Ghar se door, doston se door
Tujme na jaane kaha se himmat aata hai
Meri koshish toh jaari hai
Par kabhi kabhi dil bhar sa jaata hai

Dil ki choti atpati khwaishein
Aj kal Dil mein hi simte se rehte hai
Soch samajh ke chalna padta hai, chutki
Kya pata, shayad isiko bada hona kehte hain?

Roothi hui hoon main
Par pal bhar mein maanungi
Dil chahta haii rahoon main bacchhi
Aye zindagi tu bhi
Mere hi jaisi hai
Dikhti sayaani hai.. Par hai kacchhii

  
Sach kahoon toh yeh dil thoda thoda darta hai
Par apne liye na sahi.. Tere liye kuch karne ko jee karta hai

Friday 8 August 2014

Almost


Virga : Rain or snow that evaporates before hitting the ground

In plain-sight
Halfway down..
I reach out my hand..
.. and then you'r gone


An almost-child of gravity
A stranger to the ground
just out of reach from my vicinity
Never lost nor found

And everytime I am so sure it will begin.. 
It begins to seem it will never be.
And if waiting was a crime I am drowning in the sin
Sentenced by your virga, lasting an eternity.


Wednesday 23 July 2014

An Impossible Escape

#doodle #doodler #sketch #sketchbook #moleskine #art #comic #pen #ink #ink365 #instaart #instadraw #instadoodle #girl #cat #escape #trip

I Turned my head away to let go
Completely
Yet your face turned up and showed
Discretely

Run as fast as I could, once more
Faster
Yet once again,you turned up at my door
Disaster

With words framed in riddles and rhymes
Deceiving
Deja-vu of another time
Misleading

Denying this with my whole being
Familiar
This is stranger than where I've been
Peculiar

Throwing darts at the warmth of your heart
Regretfully
Yet not wanting to be apart
Perceivably ......


To be continued

Monday 7 July 2014

Aaj Toh Saloni Taneja Ka Happy Budday Hai

Saloni Taneja is a real life living doll.
She's absolutely beautiful inside and out.
And today is her Happy Wala Birthday.

 So basically, I have a couple of lucky ladies who are of best friend status in my life (wait, I think that makes me the lucky one), but Saloni is the cherry on top of the very chocolate-y cake. I met her in eight standard and for whatever reason the Universe decided to let me keep her for the next 10 years.:cool:  In-spite of the 1 and a half odd years of school, class and annoying classes we shared together, our friendship took deep deep roots at some point between School PTM. Math scores. Girl trouble. Boy trouble. Other girls boy troubles and other boys-girl troubles. Fiasco's. Rebellions and generally going bananas over a plethora of silly things, a handful of  serious shit and random intermediary dramatic stuff :cooll:
 In-spite of moving out of the city 8 years ago, there is something almost celestial about us where we take up where we left off every single time we meet up, years later sometimes.

In high school, before the selfie concept took over the greater part of the world, she was one of the pioneers of photo-phillism, trying to sneak in a photo of us wherever we met, At her place. At my place. At the general stores, walking on the road. With a then-photo-spaz like myself, she would try to talk/scold/sulk/mope me into taking a snapshot of us together. Then of course as I grew up, I discovered the pleasures of Narcissism and went all out Marilyn Monroe as far as posing is concerned wherein photo-ops is one of the perfunctory activities we indulge ourselves in whenever we meet up.

Saloni baloney Taneja.
I am in the city for your Birthday probably the first time in 8 years and I gotta tell you Chick, I am stinking excited about this one :excited:

Happy Happy Budday my love.Here's to all the good, the bad, the ugly and the fugly we have witnessed together :)
See you in few hours to Celebrate!



THEN
3 years back I think. When we got inducted into the batch of selfie-dom class of 2011.








Thursday 3 July 2014

Him and Her

HIM : *stares*

HER: Oh. YOU.
          *turns and walks away*


HIM:    STOP! Please?


HER:   No. Not again.
           
             

HIM : Gimme One second!
            *Follows Her*

HER : DON’T!
          You don’t get your say anymore.  
           Not.a.word. Please. Go.

HIM:  At least listen to me once.

HER:

NO. You listen to me!
*Stops and turns*
When I met you last , I poured my heart out on a piece of paper. A childish gesture one may say. With scrawls and doodles all over. But those silly rhyming words spoke a million syllables.Of how much I like you. How much I liked you in-spite of you being such a gigantic pain in the ass. If you were a better or a smarter man you would have seen that and told me something. Anything! But I will never know because you never said a word.   Who knows if you read the doodl-y bits like you were meant to.  Who knows if you understood the star and the galaxy reference. At-least I for one will never know. Thanks to you NEVER getting back to me on that. Thank you for just walking away without out so much as a word.. And now after months, hell years, if you think I will listen to your excuses just because you randomly turn up and FINALLY choose to treat me as a person who can be spoken to, then you are in for a huge disappointment. Just like I was, because since that day a year ago, I have conjured up a hundred scenarios with a hundred and one endings and right about now even though I am curious as to which way this is going, I am gonna pass because inspite of how big in sadism and mockery you are, when it comes to expressing anything along the lines of liking somebody, you SUCK! And quite honestly I don’t have the patience nor the anticipation anymore.
You have crossed the statue of limitations of walking away and you don’t have that luxury anymore  because I AM WALKING AWAY and..and...

HIM : .......I love you.
                *turns and walks away *








Tuesday 10 June 2014

Smoke & Vapour





I
hold onto you by every molecule.
Taking shape in the vessel you put me in.
Elevated from the moment you laid your sight on me
Extinguished, when you shone too bright on me
And for a fleeting instant
We shone together
Against the laws of nature

But then when has fire ever been known to show any mercy to anyone
It just burns.
and scorches.

And as you sear through my being
with red flames dancing through my body so cold
 beyond my threshold
I,
As the water, loosening her grip
With every drop of its existence,
While bleeding the monsoons you showed me
And releasing the promises you owed me
 Pulled by the mirthful gravity
Will decend
Seperating
Isolating
Sliding
and Gliding
Until I crash
Through your surface
Showing off our spectacle of passion and fury for one last time
For one fleeting moment
Before all that's left of you is just smoke.
And all thats left of me is vapour.

Smoke & Vapour
This is how it will end.
Everytime I try to quench my thirst with a cup of fire,
Or you try to use a bit of water to light your way
Because ultimately we both destroy.

We are not Incompatible.
Its just..
we are not meant to be.






Wednesday 4 June 2014

The Rule is Not Enough


They said its impossible.
It is too little too late. 
To far fetched. 
To idealistic. 
To ridiculous. 
To dreamy.

But they also said that shores belong to the ocean 

while the stars belong to the sky
And they don't mingle
It just cannot happen.

Title :  The Stars make love to the Ocean.

Except it can.


Even the sky meets the ocean at the horizon.
And even the stars make the ocean their home at night.


I suppose the only limits that exist are the ones we impose in our head.

#RemindertoSelf



Wednesday 28 May 2014

The Longing




You say desiring makes you suffer? 
from all that the heart wants what it cant have?
Try longing for a perspective,
for while desiring is wanting what you don't have, Longing is wanting what you do.

And when you do, you will try to stop it with your own hands.
I dare you not to.

Got a perspective, now did you?

Monday 26 May 2014

The Monsoon : Between You and Me




Title : The Run of the Rains
Location : Enroute to Halebid


When it rains, the river will try and take you away from me.
When it rains every drop will add to the distance.

This time around, grey clouds fill the sky again.
This time around, grey clouds fill the sky again to rain.
This time around, grey clouds fill the sky again to rain and will push me adrift yet again.

Whether its the drop of water trickling from the heavens or one trickling down my cheeks,
This time around, I am prepared for either.

After all
After a long time.
 Monsoon is approaching.





Monday 19 May 2014

The Clarity in the Blur



Two people
More than friends
Less than lovers
Both spinning in infinity.
You Searched for the silence amidst the chaos. 
while I appreciated the chaos in the silence.

You found it near the edge of here and there. 
On the borders of If's and But's

Maybe's and the someday
Within the shadows of practicality.


I found it between that moment and a potential of forever. 
Between the fire you ignited and then the ice you purged it with.
In taking chances
the leap of faith

I found it with you.
Ignited
Then diffused
now disguised
and subdued
You believed distance is how bad stories end
I believed it could be how the best stories begin
Yet.
We will never know.
and while now you watch me incessantly
know that I watch you back.
Your silence doesn't fool me
Nor all the words you lack

And every time you indifferently hint how "well" you are now with the choices you made
I get the message.
Loud and clear.
And you should too,
That I'm happy for you.

Now fuck off.



Sunday 18 May 2014

Head over Heels



Have you fallen in love recently? 



Racing heartbeat and Cant-take-my-eyes-off-you kinda love?


I have.

And they cost 12750 bucks  !!

If I mention right about now that I own about 25 pairs of shoes of various kinds and colours,one would probably assume that I was a liberal hippie or rich spoilt Daddy's girl(depending on the season). However, I am neither. I'm a final year student living from the 1st day of one month to another (Give or take) when my account is sufficiently replenished. Most of which is spent on Food which fail to make me fat (Its a Moo point in my case. Nothing works.) and Microbiology notes Xerox's which fail to make me wanna study. Yet, I can say that none of those shoes have been impulsive or terribly extravagant buys. They have all been lovingly selected or gifted, for various attributes and purposes. And in the absence of one, buying a pair under the pretext of possessing difficult feet and hence deserving it works for my conscience. Something that happened a couple of days back in Mumbai. 
And hence I returned to Bangalore, happy in every way. 
Shoe-wise and other-wise.
And then.
 Along came that one pair of shoes that made me wanna misbehave.
Tremendously.
  I swear I’m trying my best to move on to the next guy. I mean pair of heels. 

This is what I CANNOT STAND ABOUT THE EVER INCREASING ONLINE INVASION OF HIGH STREET..  It makes moving on difficult!
And what’s worse is when a fellow online shopper joins you for an afternoon of dedicated heel browsing in the quest of finding THE perfect gift for a common friend. I surrender! So much more alluring than any on-site shopping. and OH-SO-MUCH more confusing!!! 
Oh, geez, a thousand times over.

Since when did shopping become so sinful? For us till even 2 years back, it used to one planned afternoon of outing at Sarojini Nagar in Delhi, or Bapu Bazaar in Jaipur with a mental note of what we are looking for., or being dragged about between sale seasons by family. And sometimes the new acquisitions were kept aside for some Diwali festival, only to be worn later in the year.

But these days internet shopping is hardcore. It’s just three steps away from porn. You should have heard the ooohhhs and aaaahhhhs from the bunch of girls the other afternoon. 
Oh, the shiver at THE pair of shoes. The photos favourited and whatsapped. The number of times we came back to our dirty favourites.
 And how we pored and pored. And pored. 
Left side view, from the back, oh the lovely shot from the front oh d'you like these ones??


Makes me wonder.
Is this what guys do over big boobs and wild positions? 
Hypnotized

Anyway. For the love of Gifting.

 Chosen. Designed. and ordered. 
Soon to be delivered.
and hopefully Loved :)



THE site to Check Out : Shoes of Prey 

While gift browsing, I came across this awesome site that lets Shoe lovers and Wannabe designers (YES. It IS INDEED a profession!) custom design their shoes only to be hand-made by them and lovingly swaddled in a dust bag and crisp box and sent to your waiting feet, all within about four weeks. Sure they are pricey. 5 minutes into browsing and you will appreciate the Aptly named website.
You will gape and fawn and slouch and some may even moan. And when it comes to it, you wallet will be stripped bare. But its the price you pay for selling your soul to the shoe-devil, and the good news is : shipping is totally free worldwide.

For all the turmoil this site has caused in the past 2 days; I sure hope my bestie likes her Birthday gift :)


Wednesday 16 April 2014

Just Follow the Beat :)

Here's to countless years of
Dancing with girlfriends in PJ's and Jumping to Mixing DJ's 
Jigging to Bollywood feats and Grooving to Angrejji skanky beats,
The Jhumka's and Thumka's, Then the Beat Boxing, and the Hiphop
Here's to pulling shy onlookers on the floor and dancing with them Nonstop

Practiced form or spontaneously driven, irrespective of any of that
Here's to craving and dancing on sudden whims at the drop of a hat

Whether the subtle twitching to music or the graceful twirls and prancing
Here's to over-the-counter- round-the-pole and going-down-under dancing ;)
The moments it has given us, of friendship, insane fun and romance
Here's to Dancing to just ANY music, All for the love of dance :)





People might judge. 
Competitors will compete. 
Onlookers may look for perfection
And Critics will  critique.
But the plain and simple truth is
I dance to find myself
Where I am my own muse
I dance to lose myself.
the venue is just an excuse :)
I don't aspire for perfection
I can be quite the klutz on fire ;D 
It's just another vertical expression
of my horizontal desires

Always and Forever



#PlayTheMusicAndIlDance
#ClosestThingtoMagic

Saturday 5 April 2014

The Trials and Tribulations of Miss-Understood and Logic



Logic, with your reach so flawed and limiting
Prodding and whispering in my brain
Threatening the desire's of the naive heart
With Reasoning so Circumstantial and Mundane.

Logic, sometimes you resemble a mystery
One which alludes me upon seeking
And when the heart ceases too question why
Your Unsolicited Stench rises, Stagnant and Reeking.



Logic.

The antithesis of Imagination. Along with his Cousins, Truth and Practicality. Popping up uninvited at the wrong times. And just like a Samsung Cell phone battery, MIA in the hour of need.
SO ANNOYING.


Just when I was giving up seeking logical answers as to why it ended the way it did.

Just when I was resorting to cocoon myself in the warm embrace of my ever-comforting imagination.
Just when I was starting to make peace with the fading questions and equally blurry answers.
BAM!
Logic, armed with the past, blew up in the face of my reality
And made it it's bitch.


Argh.




Thursday 20 February 2014

Shine away, Irrespective ( :


There are things I miss that I shouldn't 
and things I don't that I should.. 
Yeah I Got a twisted way of demarcating things.. 
The conundrum of Should, Could and Would.

Though one rule of thumb I do swear by
\with both temporary and long term effect
Shove all your prejudices aside
And practice more of accept than expect.


Shine away,
in your own light..
Emanate
Unobjective
Shine away
Into the starry night
Shine away...
Irrespective

Even 
After 
All this time
The sun never says 
To the earth
"You owe me."
Look
What happens 
With a love like that
It lights up the 
Whole 
Sky.

Every.
Day.
Without
Fail.
No agenda
or high expectation
No grudges
Only absolution

Shine Away, You.
Promote what you Love instead of Bashing what you Hate.



On a lighter note : D


Friday 7 February 2014

The Urdu Fixation


“Ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane ke liye aa
aa phir se mujhe chhod ke jaane ke liye aa..
Pahale se maraasim na sahii phir bhi kabhi toh
rasm-o-rahe duniya ki nibhane ke liye aa..
Kis kis ko batayenge judaai ka sabab hum
tu mujhse khafaa hai toh zamaane ke liye aa..
kuch toh mere pindaar-e-mohabbat ka bharam rakh
tu bhi to kabhi mujh ko manaane ke liye aa..
ek umr se hoon lazzat-e-giriyaa se bhi maharuum
aye raahat-e-jaan mujh ko rulaane ke liye aa..
ab tak dil-e-khushfeham ko tujh se hain ummiden
ye aakharii shamma bhi bujhaane ke liye aa ....”

― Ahmad Faraz



The above shayari, when weaved into music and sung by Mehndi Hassan is my All time favorite ghazal. It is ethereal and vulnerable and transpires an air of mystique and brilliance about itself each time i hear it. There is something about Urdu poetry that inspires awe in me. I am not sure if its the linguistic flair or its persian influence that attracts me more to it, but its definitely worth an attempt.



Unlike legal jargon which drive me absolutely nuts
Shayari seems incomprehendible in ways i prefer,driving me nuts in ways i like




Yeh ishq naheen aasaan, bas itna samajh lijiye
Ik aag ka dariya hai, aur doob ke jaanaa hai

- Mirza Ghalib

Probably the first shayari i had ever heard.  More than the words itself,i remember the way the curly haired woman onscreen had recited it. Every word full of an era gone by and  pause of anguish at the end of each line. *sigh* 

I guess the ghazal's my dad would routinely hear at home got to me after all. 



Yeh ishq nahi aasaan
bas itna samajh lijiye
is aag me jalne ki
jald baazi na kijiye 

Is ishq mein nafrat bhi, is ishq mein junoon hain
yeh woh toofan hai jisme thandi sukhoon hai
is par zor nahin, yeh wo aatish hai
therav jo shor mein simti
har lahu mein khwaish hai

Yeh ishq nahi aasaan
bas itna samajh lijiye
jalti aag me jo kood chuke hain
paar karke hi dum lijiye

- Karishma Singh

Sunday 2 February 2014

On Being 23 and What is the What

Holy Shit, 23 And NO Balloons!
The possible indication that i might be getting mature and old makes me a little sad. But then i decided, "fuck ponderings"and bought a bunch for myself from the beiloon bhaiya on my way back home tonite :) And thats how the balance was restored to my world.

The thing is,I had been feeling pretty blah this week, trolling about my room draped in what my friend chose to call,"a curtain" around me. But behold, friends and Co. intervened ( to my initial reluctance) and rescued me from my self imposed slump :)

The glorious chocolate cake brought by my college peeps deserves special mention, after all, it was the first of the chocolate attack that followed  through he rest of the day, but who's complaining. Yummy food, ugly crying due to some brilliantly written stuff by Sho, and tons of chocolate in various forms later, I had a pretty darn awesome day. And i have to admit, i have the creme de a creme of friends. Much Love :)

The moment i returned home,i jumped into my bed with the book i have been cheating on everybody this whole week with. And an excerpt from it is what i wish to share today.


Its a part of a fable and goes like this :



Ebok and his wife had fallen on hard times. Drought set in after a season of poor-selling, meager crops. Their children, now school aged, had no shoes to carry them to school. They were beginning to go hungry. Every night Ebok prayed to God for a miracle. He prayed for God to send something to save his family.

One night – after many, many nights of praying – God appeared.


He appeared with a cow the size of three cows combined. A cow, Ebok knew, that would save his family and secure their future.


“I’ve heard your prayers, and have come with a gift,” God said to Ebok, “So this cow can be yours from this moment on, unless, of course, you’d rather have the What.”


Ebok replied like anyone would reply. “Well, what is the What?”


And God said what any God would say, “The What, my son, cannot be described.”


Ebok was distraught. Clearly God would not mention this What if it wasn’t worth wanting. He would not come and offer a gift that could not save him and his family, just as the cow would. But what was the What?


After a few moments God pressed Ebok to make his decision. Ebok looked to his hut where his wife and children slept, then back to the very fat cow standing before him. And in that moment he knew exactly which he had to choose.


The story is from the book I’m reading – Dave Eggers  novel titled, appropriately, What is the What. I can’t decide which Ebok chose. Did his faith in God lead him to take a leap and choose the What? Or did his love for his family, and immediate needs, make him sacrifice adventure for security?


And which would I choose? The unknown or the certain? The security or the thrill? The cow or the What?


Personally,I’d like to think I’d choose the What. I’d like to think I’ve chosen it already. But does choosing the cow mean I can be satisfied with basic needs? That I can sacrifice adventure for what’s truly important? That I can focus on care for my family?


Is the What for fools or for dreamers? I’m not sure it matters. I’m fairly certain I couldn’t live my life knowing I had a chance at having the What – and passed it up for a cow.


Which would you choose?


Clearly,until i am through with this book, my hibernation mode will continue.