The Trials and Tribulations of Miss-Understood and Logic

Logic, with your reach so flawed and limiting

Prodding and whispering in my brain

Threatening the desire's of the naive heart

With Reasoning so Circumstantial and Mundane.

Logic, sometimes you resemble a mystery

One which alludes me upon seeking

And when the heart ceases too question why

Your Unsolicited Stench rises, Stagnant and Reeking.

Logic.

The antithesis of Imagination. Along with his Cousins, Truth and Practicality. Popping up uninvited at the wrong times. And just like a Samsung Cell phone battery, MIA in the hour of need.

SO ANNOYING.

Just when I was giving up seeking logical answers as to why it ended the way it did.

Just when I was resorting to cocoon myself in the warm embrace of my ever-comforting imagination.

Just when I was starting to make peace with the fading questions and equally blurry answers.

BAM!

Logic, armed with the past, blew up in the face of my reality

And made it it's bitch.

Argh.

Shine away, Irrespective ( :

There are things I miss that I shouldn't 

and things I don't that I should.. 

Yeah I Got a twisted way of demarcating things.. 

The conundrum of Should, Could and Would.

Though one rule of thumb I do swear by

\with both temporary and long term effect

Shove all your prejudices aside

And practice more of accept than expect.

Shine away,

in your own light..

Emanate

Unobjective

Shine away

Into the starry night

Shine away...

Irrespective

Even 

After 

All this time

The sun never says 

To the earth

"You owe me."

Look

What happens 

With a love like that

It lights up the 

Whole 

Sky.

Every.
Day.
Without
Fail.
No agenda
or high expectation
No grudges
Only absolution

Shine Away, You.
Promote what you Love instead of Bashing what you Hate.

On a lighter note : D

The Urdu Fixation

“Ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhane ke liye aa
aa phir se mujhe chhod ke jaane ke liye aa..
Pahale se maraasim na sahii phir bhi kabhi toh
rasm-o-rahe duniya ki nibhane ke liye aa..
Kis kis ko batayenge judaai ka sabab hum
tu mujhse khafaa hai toh zamaane ke liye aa..
kuch toh mere pindaar-e-mohabbat ka bharam rakh
tu bhi to kabhi mujh ko manaane ke liye aa..
ek umr se hoon lazzat-e-giriyaa se bhi maharuum
aye raahat-e-jaan mujh ko rulaane ke liye aa..
ab tak dil-e-khushfeham ko tujh se hain ummiden
ye aakharii shamma bhi bujhaane ke liye aa ....”

― Ahmad Faraz

The above shayari, when weaved into music and sung by Mehndi Hassan is my All time favorite ghazal. It is ethereal and vulnerable and transpires an air of mystique and brilliance about itself each time i hear it. There is something about Urdu poetry that inspires awe in me. I am not sure if its the linguistic flair or its persian influence that attracts me more to it, but its definitely worth an attempt.

Unlike legal jargon which drive me absolutely nuts
Shayari seems incomprehendible in ways i prefer,driving me nuts in ways i like

Yeh ishq naheen aasaan, bas itna samajh lijiye

Ik aag ka dariya hai, aur doob ke jaanaa hai

- Mirza Ghalib

Probably the first shayari i had ever heard.  More than the words itself,i remember the way the curly haired woman onscreen had recited it. Every word full of an era gone by and  pause of anguish at the end of each line. *sigh* 
I guess the ghazal's my dad would routinely hear at home got to me after all. 

Yeh ishq nahi aasaan

bas itna samajh lijiye

is aag me jalne ki

jald baazi na kijiye 

Is ishq mein nafrat bhi, is ishq mein junoon hain

yeh woh toofan hai jisme thandi sukhoon hai

is par zor nahin, yeh wo aatish hai

therav jo shor mein simti

har lahu mein khwaish hai

Yeh ishq nahi aasaan

bas itna samajh lijiye

jalti aag me jo kood chuke hain

paar karke hi dum lijiye

- Karishma Singh

On Being 23 and What is the What

Holy Shit, 23 And NO Balloons!
The possible indication that i might be getting mature and old makes me a little sad. But then i decided, "fuck ponderings"and bought a bunch for myself from the beiloon bhaiya on my way back home tonite :) And thats how the balance was restored to my world.

The thing is,I had been feeling pretty blah this week, trolling about my room draped in what my friend chose to call,"a curtain" around me. But behold, friends and Co. intervened ( to my initial reluctance) and rescued me from my self imposed slump :)
The glorious chocolate cake brought by my college peeps deserves special mention, after all, it was the first of the chocolate attack that followed  through he rest of the day, but who's complaining. Yummy food, ugly crying due to some brilliantly written stuff by Sho, and tons of chocolate in various forms later, I had a pretty darn awesome day. And i have to admit, i have the creme de a creme of friends. Much Love :)

The moment i returned home,i jumped into my bed with the book i have been cheating on everybody this whole week with. And an excerpt from it is what i wish to share today.

Its a part of a fable and goes like this :

Ebok and his wife had fallen on hard times. Drought set in after a season of poor-selling, meager crops. Their children, now school aged, had no shoes to carry them to school. They were beginning to go hungry. Every night Ebok prayed to God for a miracle. He prayed for God to send something to save his family.

One night – after many, many nights of praying – God appeared.

He appeared with a cow the size of three cows combined. A cow, Ebok knew, that would save his family and secure their future.

“I’ve heard your prayers, and have come with a gift,” God said to Ebok, “So this cow can be yours from this moment on, unless, of course, you’d rather have the What.”

Ebok replied like anyone would reply. “Well, what is the What?”

And God said what any God would say, “The What, my son, cannot be described.”

Ebok was distraught. Clearly God would not mention this What if it wasn’t worth wanting. He would not come and offer a gift that could not save him and his family, just as the cow would. But what was the What?

After a few moments God pressed Ebok to make his decision. Ebok looked to his hut where his wife and children slept, then back to the very fat cow standing before him. And in that moment he knew exactly which he had to choose.

The story is from the book I’m reading – Dave Eggers  novel titled, appropriately, What is the What. I can’t decide which Ebok chose. Did his faith in God lead him to take a leap and choose the What? Or did his love for his family, and immediate needs, make him sacrifice adventure for security?

And which would I choose? The unknown or the certain? The security or the thrill? The cow or the What?

Personally,I’d like to think I’d choose the What. I’d like to think I’ve chosen it already. But does choosing the cow mean I can be satisfied with basic needs? That I can sacrifice adventure for what’s truly important? That I can focus on care for my family?

Is the What for fools or for dreamers? I’m not sure it matters. I’m fairly certain I couldn’t live my life knowing I had a chance at having the What – and passed it up for a cow.

Which would you choose?

Clearly,until i am through with this book, my hibernation mode will continue.

Ending is Better Than Pending

Every story has a beginning, the middle and the end. Though nobody can deny the importance of beginnings, I have come to learn that it is easier to be a self starter  than a self-finisher. 

I say self-starting is easy probably because we have the least to loose when starting out on a journey. But what I write today isn’t about Beginnings.

Its about Ending’s.

Endings that involve difficult choices. 

I am not talking about calling off say, a troubled relationship where the choice was catalyzed by the foresight of a new beginning already in the making.

I am talking about putting an end to it even when you have a lot to loose.You end it because you should and not just because you could.

Ending's that quite frankly, suck balls yet are a necessary evil that we HAVE to commit to at times.

Be it a career path, a bad habit or relationships, as the chapter of it's story progresses, its share of troughs and crests over time adds to the value we place in it’s existence in our lives until it becomes an indispensable part of what we think we and/our lives cant do without.. Happens to ALL of us right? Yet, when the High : Low ratio gets fucked up with the lows dominating the former in blatant proportions, over and over and the end game alarm bells start ringing, not many of us accept it for what it is. The beginning of the end. And even if we do,don't we cite counter-arguments for each probable reason to DO something about it,until it seems harmless enough to be gladly dismissed to oblivion? Unfortunately, as life would have it, what we resist persists. And the growing negetivity it brings upon us is troubling in the least and consuming at its worst. So surely albeit, slowly it grows in magnanimity. When it becomes too much to be ignored, the two major forks that ideally paves way for us is :

 the route of compromise and desist and

 the route of cease and resist.

Alas, Familiarity breeds comfort and most of us would rather compromise on familiar grounds than break free into the darkness of the unknown. The ones who choose the latter are Self-finishers while the rest, in addition to being the majority here, are just that- the rest of the entire world population. This is where Self Finishers pull the trigger while the rest, if at all, resorts to “destiny”  to pull it for them.*eye roll*. Hasn't History/life or Harry Potter taught us enough that destiny is a bitch? A mean-spirited, evil bitch, best avoided at all costs! Anyway, that's just me but for the greater part, “Cutting an end loose” is a phrase easier spoken than done and putting an end to what you start isn't easy and by no means an obvious choice. 

Ironically, nearing the end is almost always more difficult than the end itself. That walk-up to the end is almost like trying to walk against gravitational forces slow and restrictive as opposed to that final hop-skip and jump step to the other side. And accepting and choosing to make that arduous walk is where most of us falter. 

From personal experience, I know that as the view of the end approaches, so does the dread of the unknown.  And the thought of holding on is so much more comforting, even if it hurts for a little longer and a little stronger. .That is why I respect self finishers. It takes tons of courage and balls to put an end to a story. Self finishers are few. Self authored endings by choice and not chance  exudes a powerful message to one-self and the world like no other. And I truly believe that it is the end that defines us and though we cant control when things hit rock bottom in our lives, we can choose to put an end to it. Please, muster up  the courage to end things that ought to be ended. The wise man contemplates, and does in good time what the fool does finally. Don't wait to reach your saturation point to take a call as the final resort.

So whatever it may be, Make a call. Take a stand. and stick to it.

Its just.a.fuckin.Cigarette.

That.Just.another.job.

He is Just.A.Boy. 

Life will give you tons of other better options. Don't wait for destiny to work its magic, he has millions of desperate and needy people he needs to address to and duh he aint even answerable to any of them. Make your own instead. Take a leap of faith and do/undo it. Brace the ending in order to embrace a new beginning. Sometimes the ending is just- moving on.

To All the Self Finisher’s of the World- My Respect and Salute