We all have had them.
One time or another.
The bad timing case.
No,i am not talking about situations where trite lines like "its just bad timing-if its
meant to be it will eventually be"
are cited, a saying to which i would personally love to retort with a
smirk and a "please shove it up your ass" if i ever hear it.
I am
talking about instances where our choice puts the other options totally out of the picture. No option of "may eventually be" or feeble "what ifs".
So we choose, because what we have and what we now want to include
don’t perfectly align at that time.(*eyeroll* stupid strategy )Choose, NOT because we would rather lose in a cause now that could
someday triumph than to triumph in a cause that we know will someday fail, but simply because we don't want to take a leap of faith.
Then, if the cons outweigh the pro’s of our micro-scrutiny of the entire situation, we cop
out. Step back. Play safe. And we
justify our choices while we play safe. We build up walls. Higher. Stronger over time. Till it convinces us that
it is high enough to block that path. And we sit complacently for awhile,
satisfied in our warped view of how things will be forgotten and we will let go
of it. And they eventually do. They are
replaced, by everyday. Life, as we know it, gets in the way and hurls other
major turning points as we move on and stock up on fresh memories along its
course. And soon the wall becomes so blurry that we don’t even see it anymore.
Atleast that’s how it was for me.
Then.
One day.
One piece of long forgotten piece of paper.
One random song.
A small inanimate thing I had tucked away.
One glance at the vaguely familiar area.
Just ONE of the above.
And BOOM.
That does it.
Moments of pure, unadulterated, unrationalized maddening
urge.
Instantaneous.
Systemic.
And there it looms. Darker than before. That wall I had built. The wall that had
blurred away to obscurity till that very moment. That wall.
Crumbling
unabashedly, unapologetic and involuntarily. Paving way for a flood of
memories. Memories I thought i had
tucked away to oblivion . And yet here they come, getting under my skin,
piercing through every molecule of my being , stirring up all the moments right
till the build up of the climax of that chapter of life. The maddening blast
from the past catalyzes the rude wake up call – that I had let go… while
vestigially holding on.
Now that the wall has crumbled, this time how does this end?
Is it the end?
Or the right time?
And if it is… Is there a right time to undo the wrong things
for the right one?
