I Wish You Wouldn't Wait

You can be happy when you board that train back home. You can be happy when you get that perfect job. You can be happy once you get your raise. You can be happy when your reunion happens again. You can be happy reliving memories with friends distant and near. You can be happy once you are free of the trappings of life. You can be happy once the 'Correct Timing' arrives.  You can be happy once 'that one plan' falls in place. You can be happy once the fight is over. You can be happy in the train. You can be happy in the rain. 

Or you could stop, look around, take a deep breath and be happy now.

Until then, happy waiting to you. 


P.S - I wish you wouldn't wait. 

Pieces I Gave Away

Sometimes on sporadic  nights, I wake up with the your words resonating in my head. I think of those cards I would make, smiling just at the thought at the look on your face when you would recieved it. How I collected each part from a plethora of strange faces and places, and glued it all together into one card, placing it tenderly inside the thick package.  How I used to keep making last minute additions and rearrangements inside the multitudes of envelopes and gift wraps that held all the tiny somethings that my Pocket money could buy, for you. All while the Courier Guy waited outside, because ofcourse I was never satisfied that it was perfect and pretty enough. 

Ah young naive love :)

I woke up today with wonder, whether you realized that those tiny somethings were not just pieces of things to remember me by, they were pieces of me. 

And what they meant, was that you'll always have a piece of me no matter what happens. Each piece of the handmade book, the scribbled post-its, the eldorado-names and the etchings on the balloons were another piece of myself that I gave to you.

It's too bad I didn't keep any pieces for myself.

RED.

There are a million ways to die

You are why I live to savor it

There are a billion ways to bleed

But you are by far my favorite

Territorial Spidey Attack.

I used to pretend that I wasn't afraid of spiders.  It made me feel cool - like I was braver than most people.  If someone called me on my bluff and asked me to dispose of a spider, I would put on my battle-face and do my best to get rid of it without letting the panic bubble to the surface.

Having said that, Now, in the one month that I have been in this place, I don't pretend anymore.

The dark corners of the rear side of my cupboard is home to two fuzzy spiders. While I haven't been able to quite determine their relationship status, I highly suspect them to be an old couple. Its because they hardly never go out together.

You have to understand that after moving in from a house partially owned by rats, (both literally and figuratively). while moving in here, seeing two of these furry things sitting pretty on my chair seemed like a no-biggie. Hence after being high fived by a rat (True story), I did not think much of this and let them be. Do their spidey-thing in peace.

Lately, however, they seem to think that their ownership of my cupboard's rear end somehow extends to my entire bedroom. They invade my territory, my cupboard. my kitchen cupboard. my Coffee mug. MY COFFEE MUG! But the last straw was when I slid opened my top drawer only to have one of them fall  on my face and crawl across my skin.

ON MY FACE.
Across my skin!

Not only did I almost jump out of my skin while my hands and legs went against gravity at weird positions, I also literally thought I was about to die. The slo-mo death that ends in fuzz gore. It was the single most icky and creepy feeling I have ever got. EVER.

Needless to say, I called it quits and in my delirious mad anger, stomped across the kitchen to the cupboard and pushed it against the wall, closing the gap to thier abode.

Forever.

And since then they have scuttled across onto my carpet. Watching me. While I watch them, occasionally. I am beginning to suspect that in order to spite me, they have procreated....like exponentially and the thought of a million eggs sitting god knows where all across my room waiting to hatch and recruit others for a massive spider-attack against thier home-wrecker isn't a far-fetched notion. Anyway, I did finally manage to scoop them onto a chart paper and leave them out on the terrace. For new beginnings .

I am pretty sure their loss of home will be avenged in some fashion by its clone army, but for now it is gone. 

This Too Shall Pass

Do you remember this and the pages that followed. I left clues everywhere.
Din’t you see them. I was hoping so much that you would.
So much.

Because sometimes the night is dark and stormy. Sometimes the ghosts of what you had run their fingers down a spine. And as that happens, you will want to turn to the last page. 

Please Don't. You'll ruin the story.